Archive | October 4, 2010

Dear Diary…Chopsuey I

I am quite happy that he’s better now, and will be back home today. I can’t wait to go out with him again, to his gigs, to my cosplay events..and our own events. PH!!!


I couldn’t discern the massive pulsing excitement of seeing him and having to kiss him again yesterday. It seemed so long. I loved the way I moistened his chapped lips. The way he pulled my body too tight against his own like he was trying to fill out all the barren spaces in between us. I love him very very much.


Everytime I think about his face, my heart wants to blast out of my chest. I couldn’t seem to wipe a silly grin away from my face. It feels so young and cheezy and I’m loving it.


One friend asked me, “Is he the one?” which left me blank. She asked me again and I just shrugged.

“How am I supposed to know?” I snapped. “I do love him. But are present emotions sufficient parameters to reach a hasty generalization that HE IS THE ONE? frankly speaking, I am clueless.”

She stared at me with a void face.

“But I do hope he’s the one” I whispered, and felt a little smile on my pursed lips.


Change of Heart

Earlier this morning, as I was on my way home from a graveyard shift, I was startled by the loud message alert tone of my mobile phone. I’ve forgotten to turn it off and it kinda ruined my sleepyhead mood.

I turned up to see who it was from and did not believe my eyes. It was from an ex boyfriend, err well not really ex boyfriend. Maybe a former boy toy? I dont know. We went out on and off for two years. I’d say I was so much into him, although we both had commitments back then. We’d sneak out from our partners and go watch a movie or just hang out and have fun, flirt and all. We cooled it off for a while and I haven’t heard anything from him for a long time.

He was this guy that I thought I could never learn to ignore. He was my number one temptation. He made me do unwanted and unfaithful things.  Seeing his name in my inbox gave me intense feelings of thrill.

I read the message. He was saying good morning and asking me how I was doing.
A couple of downward scrolls read “I miss you”

I paused for a moment and smiled. My boyfriend’s face popped into my imagination. I miss him very much.
I pressed the erase button, tossed back my cellphone into my bag and continued sleeping.