Archive | October 2010


John says:
you drive me crazy enough that I’m usin up a lot of energy tryin to hold myself back


My legs are presently suffering from cramps and are hideously designed with blue and violet blotches from the outrageous trek my boyfriend and I had yesterday at their hometown in San Mateo, Rizal. Despite having only 3 hours of sleep for the day strangely enough, I felt the energy reverberating within my veins.

First stop, at their house. We recorded my first ever cover of Honestly by Haren Scarem. My first record actually. I can sing, hell yes I can but I sucked big time with that record. Thinking I was even giving constructive criticisms to my boyfriend with his own rendition of the same song. Now he was laughing at me! xD
It was fun. It felt like a huge devastation on my end though that we didn’t record another track anymore hehe

We went to my boyfriend’s backyard falls, Villa Anita, so to speak. and it was located at, well, in their backyard! It was pretty amazing, and daunting! Moreso it rained. The rocky path was all muddied and slippery, I was too careful choosing to land on flatter surfaces but I still tumbled a few times while thinking “Oh Lord, don’t let me die” xD

Iit was breathtaking down there. I seriously loved the greens, the mosses and the chocolate mud drizzling along the edges of the giant rocks. The scent of the water flowing and down into the falls. It was the perfect spot to captivate the beauty of the moment.

In the dark

I was busy taking in calls last night
Texting with my boyfriend
Munching on some chips and hany choco

When my cellphone rang a bit and died

I checked out the number that registered. It was unfamiliar. Who would ring me at 12 midnight? To answer that vaguely, I got a text message from the same number that called me up.

“What do I have to do to steal you away from your guy? Or is that even possible? 😉 ” …it read. I felt stunned for a moment ad froze. What the hell..

My phone vibrated within my hands. It was ringing again. But I could not somehow discern why my ringtone was singing a different tune. I stared at it, looking fazed as the call continued. I never answered.

1 message

“Doll, why didn’t you answer my call? I’m not going to hurt you.”

1 message

“My precious Rose, why can’t I take you out of my mind you fucker.”

1 message

“I love you so much. I wonder how you managed to keep your values intact. I will be thinking of you the entire night. You go home safely in the morning. :)”

My phone died at past 2pm. I slept uneasily. I nudged on my friend to go home with me after the shift. I erased all of his messages and missed calls. I needed to think I was dreaming.


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Here are some photos of my previous cosplays:


Dear Diary…Chopsuey I

I am quite happy that he’s better now, and will be back home today. I can’t wait to go out with him again, to his gigs, to my cosplay events..and our own events. PH!!!


I couldn’t discern the massive pulsing excitement of seeing him and having to kiss him again yesterday. It seemed so long. I loved the way I moistened his chapped lips. The way he pulled my body too tight against his own like he was trying to fill out all the barren spaces in between us. I love him very very much.


Everytime I think about his face, my heart wants to blast out of my chest. I couldn’t seem to wipe a silly grin away from my face. It feels so young and cheezy and I’m loving it.


One friend asked me, “Is he the one?” which left me blank. She asked me again and I just shrugged.

“How am I supposed to know?” I snapped. “I do love him. But are present emotions sufficient parameters to reach a hasty generalization that HE IS THE ONE? frankly speaking, I am clueless.”

She stared at me with a void face.

“But I do hope he’s the one” I whispered, and felt a little smile on my pursed lips.


Change of Heart

Earlier this morning, as I was on my way home from a graveyard shift, I was startled by the loud message alert tone of my mobile phone. I’ve forgotten to turn it off and it kinda ruined my sleepyhead mood.

I turned up to see who it was from and did not believe my eyes. It was from an ex boyfriend, err well not really ex boyfriend. Maybe a former boy toy? I dont know. We went out on and off for two years. I’d say I was so much into him, although we both had commitments back then. We’d sneak out from our partners and go watch a movie or just hang out and have fun, flirt and all. We cooled it off for a while and I haven’t heard anything from him for a long time.

He was this guy that I thought I could never learn to ignore. He was my number one temptation. He made me do unwanted and unfaithful things.  Seeing his name in my inbox gave me intense feelings of thrill.

I read the message. He was saying good morning and asking me how I was doing.
A couple of downward scrolls read “I miss you”

I paused for a moment and smiled. My boyfriend’s face popped into my imagination. I miss him very much.
I pressed the erase button, tossed back my cellphone into my bag and continued sleeping.