Archive | August 2008

Broken Summer

I’ve been waiting for his call, for his messages. It’s been Saturday when he did, and it’s already another Saturday. Well, it is Saturday morning, it’s only 7:40am. morning, but morning will turn to noon, the noon then to dusk, then it’s night again. and i know, still he wouldn’t care. he doesn’t care. he used to care about me. that’s why i like him, that’s why i love him. i told him i love him. i told him to react, he didn’t. that was a long time ago. he called after two months. he didn’t say anything about it that i had to bring it up again. it was a serious thing to talk about. love is a serious thing. and he hates serious stuff. i hated it too but i love him so i had to be serious. he should be too. but since he hates it, the serious became a joke. and we ended there, we ended where we had actually started..jokin around. foolin and bummin and laughin out loud till we drop and still joke about the most nonsensical people. now i’m the one who’s nonsensical, so he turns it into a joke..turns me into a joke.

i kept waiting for one message. a message that will never come. i know it won’t come. i won’t receive anything so i’m not gonna send anything to him either. i think its the right thing to do. coz only i get to do the things that men should do. so i wonder whether he’s really the man or i am. maybe i am, that’s why he doesn’t like me. coz i dont wear skirt or sexy tops or make up. i’m no dyke. if i was dyke, i’d like girls. i don’t. i’m tough and bitchy and i do what i want to do and the things i do always shock people and shut them up. like the way he shut up when i said i love you.

now it’s summer and it’s almost at its end. the piercing heat and freezing coldness will meet again. they always meet and chase each other. we were like that once. that’s why i envy summer and rain. but just like them too, summer loses the battle and rain begins to pour. He is rain, I am Summer and i am losing my battle now. he’s gonna pour down hard and strong and he’s not alone. tears of the rain come in millions, and when they pour, he’s gonna be with other raindrops. he’s gonna fall into the ground. he’s gonna fall with another raindrop and kiss the earth and in the cycle they will both turn into clouds and pour down again together. while Summer will return into the picture and be remembered a year after. sigh

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Chopsuey – a threshold

It’s August 29th, 7:36 in the morning. I’m already here at the office, with two cute newly hired guys. I’m fighting against temptation and I’m not really good at this lol.

My period is killing me, I can’t take it anymore. What’s worse is my pimples. yet again, pimples jinx my life. though it makes my cheeks look flushed. that wasn’t a good thing, you know, commend the existence of pimples. and i don’t know why i’m even talking about pimples in the first place. ah the mirror. the horror of it.

I watched Ghost Whisperer last night, and it scared me out of my chicken skin. yeah, that episode about bloodymary? i’m the most vain girl on earth, and now i hate mirrors. she reminds of sadako/samara of the ring, only meaner. coz you know, she’ll rip of your face from the mirror. sadako doesn’t do that. come to think of it, she seems nice. at least she comes out of the television and takes you with her. you’ll still have your face intact. that’s the important thing see? ^_^

you know what chopseuy is? it’s a filipino dish made up of veggies and drowned in oyster sauce. it’s so delicious. here’s a pic hehe

I entitled this entry chopsuey coz its a pool of anything-goes in here. same with the taste, it goes with the mood i’m in. I’m bitter, sweet and sour. just for those who were asking. comments anyone? thanks much

Despicable

Emos are faggots and ninnys, people say. I just shrug.

When people fall, they fall hard.

When they fall hard, they cry hard.

Who’s to blame? Nobody.

Just cry…

I know I’m gonna see you again

But promise me that you won’t forget

Coz as long as you remember

a part of us will be together.

So even when you’re fast asleep

Look for me inside your dream.

Keep believing in what we’re sharing

And even when I’m not there to tell you

…I LOVE YOU…

Eat Lunch and Sun

It’s August 28, 2008. Thursday. 12:10 noon, very hot.

It’s breaktime and my mood for lunch hasn’t dropped by yet. I ate hotdog and java rice for breakfast with lots of Heinz Ketchup. I need fries damn it. I’m listening to that (epic-fail) Home station, on the radio of course. I’m hearing this song for a good ten years and I still can’t get the title stuck onto my head. It goes like “dum duh duh duh..You’re damn free..I’m yooooursss”. Anybody have mercy on me? I need to know the title for the nth time.

I just burped and it smelled hotdog-ish. I want to eat but I’m too lazy to even get up my chair. I’m thinkin of a lot of things, and I can’t even name one thing from what I’m thinking.

I looked into the mirror and saw my eyes are smudged with blue eyeliner. My make up is slowly creating a murky abstract figure on my canvass-face. I look void despite my pimples. Yeah pimples. I hate pimples. I hate periods coz I always break out into red, fat, pimples. So now i look like a tomato sprinkled with sugar. Looks sweet but it’s never nice. Especially if you don’t like tomatoes and sugar.

My stupid phone is not ringing. or rather, my stupid best friend is not texting me. I’m going to punch him good when I see him tonight. for now, I really have no idea what I’m thinking.

Is this the proper way artists think? I think I’m being a retard.

tsk tsk tsk

tsk tsk tsk

INOCENCIA

 

Inocencia”

Little lady, how delicate
you are! How ablaze and yet
luscious are those devil red
lips. How aflirt those lashes
and dancing are those
finger tips.

Little lady how lovely
you are! How serpentine is
your body and how your
eyes dazzle me. How insane
you drive me and how your
perfume smothers me.

But little lady how
bittersweet you are! Your hazel iris
stream anguish and
your melodious voice had
perished. How grieving
is that heart!

My little lady still how
divine you are! Though now
pale are those lips ad white
is your skin. Though glassy
are those eyes and yet are
still engulfed in dream!

My little lady, fair bud
crushed. Fragrant breath
left a final hush. Small
hand held the dagger, lust
it commands. Little lady
lathered the blood on her
Devil’s hands.

I wrote this when my friend was sexually harrassed by her step dad. I didn’t exactly knew the feeling but it devastated me so badly. She was safe, but she was no longer happy. There used to be a smile on her eyes. And I’m afraid I can never see that smile again. Inocencia…

 

 

DARK ROOM

 DARK ROOM

When some take their blades onto

Their children, and flee away a

Redeemer, or a sane less man and

Corrupted, from sidewalk Asylums.

Dare not breathe for me, I shall

Damn that mercy. For never shall

I be sorry, for my crimes and misery.

 

But amidst it all, how could you bleed

For me? For I care not nor think about

It. So pierce your eyes and kiss me

Now, and lay eternal on your

Hospital bed. Because the bleeding

Begins about now.

 

Let us toast for the hell that I am in.

For the angels, and the demons and for the

Vampires that I’ve been. Let us toast

For tyranny, no remorse of apathy.

There is no road that I’m going,

That I have never been.

 

 

Does anybody care to see what’s going on with the world..? We kill in order to stay alive. And people breathe in order to bleed for the salvation of evil..

Mi Juvie Artiste

here are some of my artworks in DA. Most of these pieces are under the Photo Manipulation category.

http://mariposang-ligaw.deviantart.com/art/lolita-93110799

http://mariposang-ligaw.deviantart.com/art/nina-83065330

http://mariposang-ligaw.deviantart.com/art/wilderness-of-sweets-82880291

http://mariposang-ligaw.deviantart.com/art/transition-baby-82296826

I’m ubber fond of taking photos. I would’ve posted more if i still have my usb huhu

anyway..comments anyone?

thanks much